Just in case you were wondering.

My life is a series of up and downs, none of them particularly blogworthy.I am still having a lot of difficulty  navigating this IE7, and I still have a hard time not hating it. I would use the other computer, but it is wireless, and laying in the bed to type kills my back. So, lots of complaints.

Bill is stilol working one week on, three off. Financially, we are struggling, but not any more than we ever have. He is drawing unemployment, and he has a certain time before he has to look for another job. I don't know if that is because he has been with the company for 21 years, or he is in construction.

With my taxes, I was hoping to buy a new washer and dryer set. We didn't get as much this year, and I can get a decent set at work for just under a thousand dollars. The set I have is a refurbished second hand dryer I bought five years ago, and a washer given to me seven years ago by a friend who bought herself a new set. She was stunned to find out I was still using it. I thin decided to save a little, and buy a floor model front load washer, skip the dryer, at 45%off. Now I am down to spending 750, and hoping the dryer lasts longer. I also wanted to buy at work because I get the comission then. Bill was dying at how much this was, and how it was cutting into his second computer fund. But, I do laundry for six people, plus the older kids do their own, and being down for even a day is a killer, and I wanted to avoid that at all costs. At. All. Costs.

So, the first weekend in march, we head to the swap meet. We love the bargains and always try to go when we have a few dollars in our pocket. A guy there was selling a very nice washer dryer set for 325. 325!! The Whirlpool Calypso set, everything digital, no agitator, the works., After a little discussion, and a promise of delivery, I bought it. I was so excited!! I have had it now for about a month, and for the first time ever in our marriage, not only am I caught up on laundry, but I go looking for it!

Oh, one of the pluses of having Bill home alot is he does most of the housework. I come home from a long day of standing around, and he has dinner ready, and dishes done. He corrals the kids, and makes them do their assigned parts of the house. It is great.

I was told in February i had a 98% chance of having diabetes. The sugars spilling into my pee was over 1000. I went home, and immediately changed my diet. Lots of fish, chicken, and veggies. I discovered the wonders of asparagus. LOL. No more sugars and gratuitous carbs. I had the blood work done, and even after the dietary changes, which I was so careful with, my sugars were still at 278. *sigh* I was deluding myself into thinking I could control it with diet, like I did when I pg with Tyler. I cried a lot the first few days, but I had support from my sister, whose SO just had a kidney/pancreas transplant, and she knows diabetes forward and backwards. Bill was also a big support, and still supports me. With the official diagnosis on March 12th, I was put on Metformin, Lisinopril, Lovastatin, and glipizide. I neatly filed the paperwork, and don't feel like digging it out, but one is to keep my cholesterol down (it wasn't high, but headed there) One is to help keep my heart healthy, and two are anti diabetes. All i know is one is a serious appetite stimulant because I have been ravenous since. An hour after eating, I am looking for a snack. Not good. One also induces nightmares, as I have them about three to four times a week now. Usually it is a hellish being screaming at me from the furnace vents. Good thing I don't have a funace, or vents. My sugars hover around 150-165. I'd like to get them down further, but don't know how. I'll work on it.

Speaking of nightmares, I had an awful one Friday night. Plane crashes, burning, people screaming. It was awful. It stemmed from the air show coming to town and Bill and Terry discussing all the recent crashes. So, I am at work, 1/2 a mile from the airfield, and in ahuge metal box. Everytime they buzzed the store with a big one, it would rumble and shake, and I would cry. It was horrible. At one point, I had just collected myself, and trying to appear as if nothing happened, when my boss strolled by. I call my part of the store the ghetto, because no one comes over there, and when they do, I ask if they are slumming it. So, I was surprised to see her. She said "If a plane hits the store, I am filing a grievance' Here, rational Pam would have joked back with someting along the same lines. Instead, I burst into tears, and blubbered out my fears. Nice way to make your boss think you are all together, and grown up. Luckily for me, it was too overcast and the show stopped soon after.

This is becoming way too long, a sure sign I need to do it more. Brittany is in college part time, and doing great. She works at Kmart with me, in the Electronics dept. This leaves her days open to watch tyler, and pick the girls up from school for me. Tyler is eligible for the afterschool program in the 1st grade, and at that point, B's life and schedul will be her own. I really appreciate her helping me this year though.

Cory has applied for JobCorp, as an electrician. He has a June 28th release date, and we are looking forward to seeing him more. He'll be 18 in May.

Kailey is on the swim team, and loves it. She is good at it, and it has calmed her way down at home. For a while there I was looking into alternative places for her to live. I am only half joking.

A lot of my typos I am ignoring because I can't move the cursor. I can only backspace to fix things. So if I notice something in the last paragraph, or even sentence, I just leave it. Sorry.

Hunter is doing well in the sixth grade. He is on the skateboard team in the afterschool program and loves it. He is 12, and for a while was the only deacon. It looked funny to see him up there with a bunch of men. But, now there are a couple more.

Chandler is eleven, and on the same skate team. He has a real talent for anything on wheels. He has incredible control, and can do many tricks, whether it be a board or his bike.

Cameryn is 9, and flying through the third grade. her teacher regularly sends me notes on how well she is doing. She loves to ride her bike. She has pretty much gotten over her fear of dogs, thanks to Delilah. One of the reasons I agreed to a puppy.

Tyler just turned 6, and is in Kindergarten. She loves school. She loves her friends. Her teacher also tells me how well she is doing. She is just as fiesty as ever, but still Mama's girl. She brags on me to her teacher all the time. It can be embarrassing.

Delilah is 8 months old, and a very strange dog. She is part lab, part sharpei, and who knows what else. Her eyes are the same golden color of her coat. She bounds around here like a jack rabbit. She loves the kids, and they love her. I am the disciplinarian, but she jumps up and greets me just as enthusiastically. She has been caught outside alone, going down the slide. What a dingbat. Time to get ready for church.

     Grandpa passed away on Thursday. He was 92, and by that time it should almost be expected. But, it wasn't. It sucker punched me from left field (How's that for a mixed metaphor??) Late last week, he fell. He had been at kaiser for a few days, the transferred to a convalescent hospital where the plan was to get him up on his feet more again. It was just to hard on Grandma to take care of him, when he wasn't even walking anymore.

      So, Thursday was my day off. Mom was planning on coming in to town to visit Grandpa. He was actually only about three miles from me. I had planned on going to see him in the morning, but changed my plans so i could go over with Mom, and my sister Karen. We planned on meeting over there at three o'clock., At two o'clock, Karen called me. the nurse had just called Mom, and he had taken a turn for the worse. Okay, I hopped in the car, and called mom. She said this was it. WHAT??!! I thought things were okay?? But, I found out later that he had had a massive heart attack, and irt was only a matter of hours. I was not ready!!

    the call went out, and all the local family members rushed to his bedside. My mom and my aunt were 2 of his 4 children. The other two live out of state. My mom's three local kids, and all our kids, my aunts three local kids, and all their kids and grandkids. i didn't count, but I estimate around 30 people crowded into 1/2 a hospital room to say goodbye. The guy in the other bed was not happy, and kept asking when our 'party' would be ending.

      There is a hierarchy at a deathbed, with Grandma getting the closest seat, and nobody touching it. Then Mom and Aunt Sharon. Luckily, Aunt Sharon ia a talker, and wasn't too concerned about seating. I had my two sisters and threee cousins to share the close seat with. I tried to share, but found myself sitting next to him alot, and holding his hand. I wanted him to know how much I loved him.

     The plan was to keep him comfortable, but not to resuscitate. So, the nurse gave him a shot of morphine to help with his gasping. Even after 1/2 an hour, i didn't see much difference. At the end, I was next to him and holding his hand. I saw Grandma shoot out of her seat, and a split second later i realized the gasping had stopped. i was up, and over him. We both hovered in his face, trying to see if breathing would commence. At this moment, Mike's wife, Christina got there, and Grandma frantically called her to check him. Christina is a nurse. The staff nurse was called, and the doctor, and he was declared dead. Actually, we waited for 15 minutes after we knew he had passed for a definite declaration. Whatever.

     It was so hard to see Grandma, sobbing into her arms on his bed. Her shoulders just shook. My heart still hurts when I think of it.

    We were in the midst of planning their 70th wedding anniversay shebang. I had the invites written up, We had entertainment lined up, a caterer, and kids were practicing their Grandpa song to sing. Instead, we are now planning a funeral.

     Long time again. Between work and family, computer time is limited.

     Bill started back to work on Monday. He was off a full three weeks, and I guess we are lucky. Others have been struggling a lot longer. It did sting that Child support was right there to take money out of Bill's unemployment check. They lowered our amount the begiining of July, but have yet to institute it. So, hardly any money coming in, and we are still paying the higher rate. They say it will all be evened out, but we could really use the money now.

     Chandler turned 11 on Monday, also. We had hot wings and nachos, with a pineapple upside down cake. We had put a MP3 player on layaway, and we got him a gift card to KMart (where else??)

     Girl's Camp was last week, and I was lucky enough to be able to drive a few girls up, and stay for two days. I had a blast. I was  assistant A frame Mom, and it gave me an oppotunity to get to know some of the girls better. Heather B gave me the sweetest note, thanking me for being her teacher. I was so touched. I am honored to know that young lady, and look forward to the wonderful adult she will be. I was assigned to escort the level III's to their rotations. Turns out, the only level III was my daughter, Kailey. I had a good time spending time with her,. It gave her the chance to be an only child for a while, and to have all my focus. I sure love her, and want to foster a good relationship with her. My only regret is that I couldn't go when Brittany was in camp. This was her first year not  going. This was my first year able to leave the kids...... and next year I plan on staying the whole week. Maybe in a few years, Brittany and I can go together as leaders.

     Bill was called as the YM secretary today. Whoo hoo!! now he can't ditch the 2nd half of church. LOL. he is at BYD right now. he is so excited to have a calling. He is on the activities comittee, but they only ask him to make flyers. He is never invited to mettings or anything. Bro Hicken said some really nice things about Bill. he also said he was excited that Bill could be in YM with his son, Hunter, and soon Chandler will be a deacon, too.

     Brittany is starting college over at RCC soon. I hope she can do a couple years, then transfer to a university. I wish we had the money to send her to the university now, but we don't. I tried to get her to apply for grants, but she never did. At 18, i can't force her. But, I hate for her to throw her opportunities away. She will continue to work at Kmart until she gets her license and a car. Then she can work wherever she wants. But, as long as we have to be her taxi, she works close to home. LOL. it is a good job to get her feet wet with.

     Kailey is starting High school next week. Which reminds me, I need to find her a ride to school after seminary. I want B to get her license so she can do the seminary run.Hunter and Chandler start Middle school, and cameryn the 3rd grade. Unbelieveably (at least to me) is that Tyler started Kindergarten. She loves it, but is off track right now.

     Cory hasn't been taking his program seriously, and was banned from home visits for a while. We haven't heard from him in a few weeks. His probation officer went on to greener pastures and the new one hasn't called us. I would like to hear how he is doing. I am happy with his new counselor. He refuses to let Cory hide his feelings, and pretend to himself nothing ever happened. Cory has been in a state of denial for the last seven months. I miss him, and hope he gets his butt in gear soon.

     Better go and find the troops some dessert.

I have an update on the anti hero. I feel bad about my unfeeling write up on her. She was in my dept, and I was frustrated because there is a lot of complicated stuff to run the dept efficiently, and she only tried half the time, and left the mess for me the rest of the time. Add to that, she bragged about daycare issues that got her every weekend off, and no closings, and I was  a little jealous. It came out in a nasty title of Anti hero.

Her name is Mariah. As of last weekend, she was a NCNS( no call, no show). One of the girls ran into her on the bus, where she was struggling with her almost 2 yr old son. She had just been kicked out of her sober living house, and was on her way to the women's homeless shelter in the next town. I hope she is able to find the help she needs.